Sunday, December 04, 2005
Proof that Christmas IS Coming!
Announcer: We are here in a courtroom in the Upper Midwest. The case involves the question of whether Christmas is, in fact, really coming. Let's listen to the closing argument of the attorney for the plaintiffs:
Attorney, Ladies and gentlement of the jury. Let me summarize the overwhelming evidence that Christmas is, in fact, coming. And let me be very clear, Christmas is coming faster than any of us can imagine.
First, snow is flying and is on the ground. It has even caught residents of our community unaware. Exhibit Photo #1 shows that some residents still think that it is Halloween! Snow on the ground and pumpkins still in the front yard!! Obviously, despite the fact that people are in denial of the proximity of the holiday, Christmas is coming!!
Second, Exhibit Photo #2 shows that "things are beginning to look a lot like Christmas." Residents are making an effort to decorate for the holiday. Antique toy wagons, loaded with brightly decorated presents and stuffed animals --what more evidence could you want to show that Christmas is coming!
Third, Exhibit Photo #3 is the most conclusive evidence of all. Completed hand made Christmas projects!!! In this household, we have presented evidence that two handmade Christmas projects have been completed--a scarf for the brother and now, socks for the older daughter! I rest my case.
Announcer: Let's hear the opposing counsel's argument.
Attorney #2: Ladies and Gentlement of the jury. Christmas is not coming. The lady of this household has been spending most of her time completing assignments for her graduate courses. She has stacks of paperwork surrounding the computer and she has deadlines up until Dec. 23. If Christmas truly were coming, and just around the corner, she would be busy shopping, knitting, wrapping presents, writing and sending Christmas cards. Surely, Christmas is NOT coming.
Announder: Well, the jury has retired to make its decision. Stay tuned. What will the decision be???